Goodbye
by Nightglider124
Summary: Nothing can prepare you for it. It's inevitable. In death, there is peace but it leaves a trail of destruction and agony for the loved ones left behind. ONESHOT. Please R&R!


**Author's Note:** _Angst. That's it, really._

 **Disclaimer:** _I do not own Teen Titans._

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Nothing can prepare you for it.

Loss is one of those things that you can't train for, you can't plan for and you can't dodge it or run from it, no matter how _hard_ you try to anyway.

It's inevitable.

In death, there is peace but it leaves a trail of destruction and agony for the loved ones left behind.

His passing, in hindsight, should have been more obvious. He was getting older. He didn't eat as much anymore. He didn't get as excited as he used to.

He had grown tired.

He just didn't feel like playing as much anymore.

And yet, it was so unexpected.

None of them ever really considered it before or perhaps, they just didn't _want_ to think of it; to accept the harsh reality that would one day come.

And unfortunately, that day had come sooner than they thought.

They had all assumed he would live forever.

That he would always be there, like he always had been for each and every one of them.

So, now, they were all there for him like the family they were.

Cyborg had dug the small hole at the back of the tower. It went without saying that he would receive a proper burial. He was one of them; an honorary Titan as Beast Boy so often liked to quip.

They knew no light-hearted jokes would come from him today, even if it _would_ bring some ease to them. They knew his heart just wouldn't be in it.

Dick felt the breeze ruffle his hair and he shivered at the chill it brought with it.

The sky was dark, the wind was blustery and a few raindrops had already started to fall. The weather was incredibly tuned to the tragedy that had struck them.

Pulling the edges of his jacket a little tighter around his chest, Dick watched as Cyborg lifted his head. His eyes shone with the sadness they all felt as he put the shovel to one side.

Apparently, the time had come to put a good friend to rest.

Dick had been the one to find him and it was taking so much not to break as well. But, he had someone he needed to be strong for; the one taking this worse than anyone else.

It had been a normal day and he'd had to run to the bedroom he shared with his wife to grab something. Dick had happily greeted their little larvae who was lying on the end of their bed, wrapped up like he always was.

But, there was something different; something off.

As he peered closer, his heart sank. Dick was a remarkable detective and it didn't take long to figure out their pet was _not_ sleeping.

In the moment, he didn't know what to do. He hadn't wanted to tell Starfire, knowing how much it would crush her.

But, with a gentle kiss to the top of his cold back, Dick had scooped him up in the blanket and stumbled into the common room.

He hunched his shoulders again, the cold nipping at his skin a lot more today.

There had been different reactions but Starfire's... that had been the worst. It had been a difficult few days, to say the least. She was in bits.

The moment he had stepped into the common room and she'd turned from the kitchen; she'd clocked the heart wrenching understanding of what had happened.

She had collapsed on her knees, hiccupping and choking on her tears and shaking her head, struggling to believe her little bumgorf was gone; that he'd been taken from her.

Beast Boy had gone extremely quiet and shared a similar disbelief as Starfire, searching Dick's stricken expression but with a hand on his shoulder from Raven, he knew there was no happy ending there. Even Raven looked hurt and affected by the worm's death.

Cyborg had sat down and leaned back, a solemn expression on his face.

It had taken a couple days for Starfire to get to grips with it enough to tell them she wanted him buried beneath the Earth of their home. _His_ home.

Their cybernetic friend had made sure his little body remained preserved until Starfire was comfortable with burying him.

All of them were affected by the small larvae's death but Starfire was bound to take it the hardest. She had always cared for him like he was her child; her baby. She doted on him, loving him unconditionally; the way he had always loved her.

So, here they were, stood around the ominous hole in the ground; the place their beloved team pet would be laid to rest.

Dick glanced at his team, all staring down at the ground with the same gloomy expression. Even Raven was clutching her husband's arm with her eyebrows furrowed in sorrow.

He sighed. There was no lightness in the day; everything felt as miserable as it _was_.

It didn't feel real.

Dick was finding, more than anything, that he just kept forgetting as he called out for his little friend or picked up one of his old toys around the tower.

Realisation would wash over him and he'd feel himself deflate. It was harder than he ever thought it would be to say goodbye.

It was strange that the majority of them really didn't know they would miss the little guy so much until it was too late.

Dick suddenly turned his head at the sound of autumn leaves being crunched against the grass by approaching footsteps; footsteps he'd know anywhere.

Starfire was silent but her face said it all. Her grief was written everywhere. She was paler and the spark in her eyes and hair had faded for now. No one expected her to just shrug this off.

It was horrible and they all stood, wishing it hadn't happened.

His eyes shifted, gazing at the 3 year old walking with her hand in Starfire's. She was staring up at her mother with sad and confused eyes. Dick sighed again.

Telling Mar'i had been horrible, for him at least. She was so young and he had no idea how to explain Silkie's death to her.

She didn't understand any of it. Why is Silkie not here anymore? Where has Silkie gone? When will he be back?

They were merely a handful of questions that fell from his little girl's mouth. She had been so brave, confused but _so_ brave and had been a little trooper in helping Starfire to cope.

When Starfire had needed a cuddle, Mar'i had been there. When Starfire had felt the tears threatening, Mar'i had been there to make her smile. She was looking after her mama, rather than allowing herself to get caught up in the misery of it all.

Their daughter, despite her young age, was incredibly perceptive. She caught onto a lot more than most 3 year olds are able to.

Silkie's passing _had_ affected her, Dick knew that for certain. The two of them were almost as inseparable as Starfire was with him. He had always protected Mar'i, even when Starfire was pregnant with her. For months, Silkie would hiss at fellow family members and Titans who would try to touch her belly.

Even Dick had gotten a few glares and growls for rubbing her pregnant stomach.

But, he was fairly sure that there was some part of his daughter's brain that didn't understand the concept of death just yet. He didn't think she understood that he was gone and wasn't coming back.

That or she already had an incredible grasp on her emotions and how to deal with such things. That was less plausible though considering she was half Tamaranian, the people that lived and breathed emotions.

Dick looked up at his beautiful wife, who even through her constant flow of tears, still looked like a red headed goddess.

His heart broke for her even more than it already had. She shuffled against the blustery winds of the bleak morning with Mar'i leading the way.

No one said a word as they crowded around the hole in the ground.

As Starfire reached him, Dick automatically touched her waist and gave her a side cuddle, kissing her temple.

It was quiet until Mar'i tilted her head to the side whilst staring down at the box in the hole, where their little Silkie now lay.

"Daddy, why is he in a box?" Mar'i asked, the innocence dripping in her tone,

Dick swallowed the lump in his throat and fought not to glance at Starfire. He kneeled down to be level with his little girl and brushed her black tufts of hair over her shoulder.

"Because, sweetie... that way, he's comfier and... protected." He stammered, struggling to answer more than he thought he would,

Mar'i opened her mouth but closed it again and nodded, accepting that. Starfire sniffled and ran her fingers through Mar'i's hair. She tightened the blanket around her shoulders and breathed deeply to control her spiralling emotions.

Cyborg took a deep breath and scanned the circle of Titans, "Does... anyone want to say a few words? B?"

Beast Boy lifted his head and gave into a shuddering breath, "Silkie... you were the best pet ever... I..." He paused and Raven jerked her head up to see her husband, desperately searching for the right thing to say and simultaneously trying to keep his emotions in check.

"And... you'll be dearly missed..." Raven finished in a soft voice, saving Beast Boy from continuing. He offered her a brief glance in thanks before bowing his head.

Raven felt her own heart give a tug. He was a slimy, fat worm but at the end of the day... he was theirs. He was a part of their team and family. Even she felt a connection to the little larvae that had initially been a secret.

Cyborg sadly shifted to look down at the resting place. He kneeled down slowly and brought forth one of his extra legs. On any other day, they'd probably look at him like he was insane but there was nostalgic warmth in the gesture as he lowered the extra limb into the grave.

The others gave into the tiniest of smiles, casting their minds back to the night when Silkie had first wriggled into their lives and eaten Cyborg's leg.

"Now... you can chew on it all you like, little bud."

He flexed his jaw and inhaled a deep breath before looking at Dick who rolled his shoulders and sighed.

"Rob?"

Dick nodded slowly and cleared his throat several times before speaking.

"Silkie... buddy... I hope there's lots of food up there for ya... I hope... you're okay and you know how loved you were down here, especially by your mama." He paused as he felt Starfire take his hand and squeeze, "... we're gonna miss you..."

Letting his head drop for a moment, he remembered what Mar'i had been holding in her free hand.

"Mar'i... honey... did you want to say bye to Silkie?" He asked, keeping his tone gentle,

The dark haired girl nodded and blinked before bringing forth a small teddy bear in the form of an elephant. Dick smiled softly. He had bought the plushie for her when he and Starfire had taken her to her first ever circus back when she was just a baby.

Silkie had been notorious for stealing it away from her at any given chance and nibbling on the ears. He had successfully managed to bite off one of the flappy ears when Mar'i was just over a year old.

Oh, how she had cried and yelled at Silkie for that. She had been heartbroken that her elephant was "ruined" but now, here she stood and Dick was pretty sure he knew what she was going to do.

"I'll miss you, Silkie... you can have ellie... and you can chew her other ear off too... if you want to." She murmured, giving the stuffed toy a little kiss before crouching down to throw it into the hole, "I love you, Silkie."

Starfire's lip quivered and she tilted her head up, on the verge of tears at her little girl's parting gift to her beloved bumgorf.

Mar'i stepped back and slipped her hand back into Starfire's. She peered up at her mother, blinking those big green eyes at her,

"Mommy? I think it's your turn..." She told her.

Starfire gave her a watery smile and stepped up to the very edge of the grave before kneeling down, the edges of her blanket brushing the blades of grass.

Mar'i took a seat beside her, acting as support and Dick inwardly smiled. She was being so good and so kind. The girl wasn't even 5 years old and yet, she already had a heart of gold.

 _Just like her mother._

Starfire stared down at the brownish box her little larvae had been placed in and she swallowed the growing lump in her throat. Fingers brushing against the soil, she felt the constant beating of her heart.

"Silkie... my little bumgorf... there... there are no words to describe... h-how much you meant to me..." She furrowed her eyebrows as a couple tears escaped and rolled down her cheeks.

Mar'i was there, wiping them away with her tiny fingers. She leaned into Starfire, resting her head against her mom's side.

"It's okay, mama... as long as you don't forget him... he can never be gone! Right?" Her baby girl told her, smiling up comfortingly.

Starfire hiccupped but found herself smiling. She wrapped her arms around Mar'i and pulled her into her lap before kissing her mass of black hair.

"That is right, my little one." Starfire whispered, pulling back to rest her cheek atop of Mar'i's head.

"Mama?"

"Y-Yes?"

"When did you first get Silkie?"

Starfire smiled sadly, "Actually... he did not initially belong to me."

Mar'i lifted her head, "He didn't?"

Shaking her head, Starfire looked towards her brother, "Uncle Gar was the one who brought him home."

Beast Boy found himself grinning at Mar'i, "Ha! You should've seen it, Mar'i! You're mom was sooo not wanting to take care of him for me."

Mar'i giggled, "No! Mama, did you really not wanna?"

"Not at first... Uncle Gar had been keeping Silkie a secret."

Dick nodded from behind his girls, "That he had."

Beast Boy openly laughed now, "Well, you guys wouldn't have let me keep him if I'd asked!"

Raven shrugged, "That's because he liked eating _everything_ in the tower. Even the inedible things..."

"He never took to tofu, ya know." Beast Boy murmured, tapping his chin in thought,

Cyborg shuddered, "That's because tofu is nasty, man."

Beast Boy waved him off, "After all these years, I still don't care what you say about it. Tofu is delicious."

A particularly cold breeze had Mar'i shivering and Starfire gave Raven a _look_ that only the empath could understand.

Raven nodded and untangled her arm from Beast Boy's. She wandered over and took Mar'i's hand,

"How about we go inside and Gar can tell you all about it over hot chocolate, hm?"

Mar'i nodded excitedly but turned, tenderly touching her mother's cheek,

"Mommy... you will be okay?" She wondered in a small voice,

Starfire felt tears prick her eyes again at her daughter's purity and innocence. She turned her head, pressing a kiss to Mar'i's palm before nodding,

"Of course, my little bumgorf. I shall be fine."

Mar'i nodded and allowed Raven and Beast Boy to take her inside for that promised hot chocolate. Cyborg gave Dick a discretionary nod and silently followed after the others, giving Starfire the time she needed to grieve.

As soon as her daughter was out of earshot, Starfire crumbled. She broke the barrier and the tears freely flowed. She lifted a shaky hand to her mouth to try and calm herself down but it just wasn't working.

Dick was next to her in an instant. He stroked her hair and her back, gently kissing the tears away.

"Wh-why, Richard? Why now?" She hiccupped, "why did Silkie have to die now?"

"Star... I don't know _why_ , baby... but, he had _long_ run with us. He lasted so much longer than I ever thought he would. He even lived to see the newest little bumgorf come into the world."

Starfire whimpered, "Silkie will always be my first bumgorf."

Dick nodded, holding her against his chest, "I know... in some way... he was our baby before we actually had Mar'i. He prepared us."

"I wish he was still here..."

"He'll always be here, Star... like Mar'i said."

"She is so perfect."

Dick smiled, "We're lucky to have such a precious baby girl."

Starfire sniffled and shrugged herself out of Dick's embrace, sitting up straight. She tugged the blanket off from around her shoulders and kissed it for a long moment before letting it flutter over the box at the bottom of the grave,

"He-He will be cold otherwise, Richard. Silkie does not like to be cold..." She whispered, her voice cracking again.

Dick felt the heaviness in his chest; the familiar one of grief and sadness and agony. All of it came as a package when loss was experienced.

"He'll always have a place in our hearts, Star and he will _never_ be forgotten." He mumbled, kissing her temple.

Slowly, Starfire nodded and inhaled deeply.

"Why don't we go and get in on that hot chocolate deal?" He urged,

"Mhm... and the reminiscing of Silkie."

"Of course."

Dick helped his wife to her feet and gave her a warm kiss on the lips. It was nothing but a peck, one that was gentle and reminded her that he was here for her; that is was okay to grieve and be upset.

Silkie was more than just a pet; he was Starfire's best friend; her most valued being besides him or Mar'i. Silkie mattered to her as much as any of their friends.

He was like no other living thing. He was always there and she believed her daughter when she said Silkie would continue to _always_ be there, even if it wasn't physically.

Starfire took one last look at the grave before brushing her hair behind her ears and sniffling. She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater and turned to leave.

She swivelled back to Dick who was staring at the grave too,

"Are you coming, my love?" She asked, meekly,

"I'll be there in a second, baby. I just wanna make sure he gets covered up again."

Starfire gave him a tiny smile before nodding and walking back to the tower.

Dick sighed and ran a hand through his dark locks. He walked around the edge and picked up the shovel. Slamming it down into the small mound of soil, he started scooping the earth back into the hole.

It didn't take him long to fill in Silkie's grave again. It was a small rectangular hole in the ground. After all, he had always been a tiny larvae, except for the odd occasion when he mutated over the years.

Dick lay the shovel aside and shuffled on the spot.

There was one last thing he wanted to add; something to commemorate their passing friend.

Opening his jacket ever so slightly, Dick slipped a small grey plaque from the inside pocket. He didn't want the grave to just be a hole in the ground. It held a special friend and he deserved a proper acknowledgement.

Starfire didn't know Dick had had it made and neither did the others.

It was his own personal goodbye to Silkie.

Carefully, Dick kneeled down and laid the stone plaque against the top of the grave; resting it just on top of the soil.

He stared at it for a long moment before heaving in a deep breath and getting to his feet,

"Sleep tight, Silkie." Dick murmured, shoving his hands into his pockets and jogging back towards the tower to join in on the hot chocolate fest.

It wasn't hard to love Silkie. His little warbles and big cheesy smiles got everyone in the end; whether you wanted to give in or not.

Give him your heart and he'd give you his, without question. _Always_.

All he ever wanted was affection and boy, was he smothered with love by Starfire.

In the end, it was peaceful. He was loved and he knew it.

The last ray of sunlight washed across the grey plaque, lighting up the letters as the Earth bid farewell to another day.

 _'Silkie._

 _Beloved bumgorf and Titan._

 _Gone but never forgotten.'_

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 **Author's Note:** _Yup, I went there. I did a dead Silkie oneshot._

 _Tbh, this was entirely fuelled by rewatching Marley & Me... again. _

_It is such a heart-wrenching thing to say goodbye to pet. And do_ **not** _ever tell someone to get over it because it is "just a pet" or "just an animal" because you don't know shit. If you've never lost a animal companion, then you don't know the half of it. Ite?_

 _Sorry, that's a rant because I know people who say that and it's such a... like fuck you kinda thing._

 _Anyways. Please read and review! Many thanks!_


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